Finding happiness is every human’s unconscious goal. Every one of our pursuits boils down to the innate desire to be happy. I doubt if there is there any man on earth who doesn’t want to be happy.
What we’re all looking for is happiness from within that doesn’t depend on external factors. But it seems that the more gadgets and toys we gather, the worse we feel.
Although our lifestyles are better, we’re unhappier than ever. We are victims of the belief that once we attain a certain level of wealth or success or whatever it is we dreamt of, we’ll finally be happy. When that happiness proves elusive, we go on a downward spiral.
Deceived By Society’s Definition of Happiness
Unfortunately, we live by widely held but false belief systems surrounding the subject of finding happiness. i.e. beliefs that we will be happy when we have (financial security, marriage, kids, great career).
And we will never be happy if we fall victim to certain life adversities. (Financial loss, unmarried, childless, out of employment and health challenges).
Achieving these milestones will make you happy. The challenge is that these achievements, even though initially fulfilling may not continue to make you as happy (or for as long) as we initially thought they would.
Why do you think there are unhappy wives and mothers? We got the wedding rings and had the babies, so why are we still unhappy?
What would drive a super-achieving beautiful young woman at the top of her career? The envy of millions of other young women to end her own life? A controversial popular female Nollywood star said recently. “We are a sad generation with happy pictures.” What a true statement.
The other side of the coin is an equally widespread false belief. This is the belief that “I can’t be happy when ____ (fill in the space).” When the tide of life turns against us, we feel our life is over and we can never be happy again.
The book WHERE HAPPINESS IS, authored by Daniel Bille touches on various adult crises and pain points. Beginning with our wrong beliefs, moving on to money and work. (job discontent, having a life purpose, spirituality, financial success and loss, relationships.
And (marriage, family, singlehood, kids), and the role of adversity. And also (health matters, —and ending with proffered suggestions on the way forward to finding happiness.
If we can see how these false beliefs surrounding finding happiness control our lives. We will respond more wisely to changing life situations – whether positive or negative.
Victims of the False Version of Happiness
You might already be happy and just want a little more out of life. Or you may be distressed and wondering how to escape the pit of self-pity and miserableness. Perhaps you are unhappy because you have created your false version of what happiness is all about, but you still, feel an emptiness within that nothing seems to fill.
The goal of this book is to make it clear that although it may appear that some of life’s events will change your life for better or for worse. It is really how you respond to them that determines their impact on your life in finding happiness.
Your Reactions Matter
Most often, it is our initial reactions that turn these events into crisis points in the first place. Instead of the predictable and even ordinary occurrences of life that they are. Unfortunately, our first reactions drive us to choose emotional, dramatic and damaging response paths.
Where Happiness Is discusses common crisis points humans experience on this side of the heavens. I expect that we will identify with a good portion of the particular challenges and situations that will be described. As some of them may portray a part of ourselves.
When age is no longer on your side, and you are saddled with responsibilities. When life becomes more complicated, and challenging; it’s important to take a long look at the major issues you are faced with. And what inspires your responses to them.
When Life Problems Become Catalysts For Growth
Your crisis points can be catalysts for renewal, growth, or meaningful changes. However, in finding happiness, how you perceive them matters as chance favours the prepared mind.
Your challenging periods are life-changing moments, times when we feel our lives will never be the same. When we receive a devastating piece of news. They are the moments we remember and focus on, the ones we need to consider and respond to.
This is true because even seemingly difficult paths can be gateways to positive changes in our lives.
I can’t tell you which path to take, but the book provides the tools that make healthier and more informed decisions on your own. The book can help you achieve that prepared mind. The one that knows where happiness lies and where it doesn’t.
The story below I am sharing will shed more light on the analogy I am trying to present.
The Farmer’s Story
Once upon a time, an old farmer lived in a poor country village. His neighbours considered him well-to-do because he owned a horse, which he used for many years to work his crops. One day his beloved horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbours gathered to sympathize with him.
“Such bad luck,” they said.
“Maybe,” the farmer replied.
The next morning, the horse returned and brought home with it six wild horses.
“How wonderful,” the neighbours rejoiced.
“Maybe,” replied the old man.
The following day, his son tried to saddle and ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. Again, the neighbours visited the farmer to offer their sympathy for his misfortune.
“Maybe,” said the farmer.
The day after, conscription officers came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the farmer’s son had a broken leg, they passed him by. The neighbours congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.
“Maybe,” the farmer replied.
From the drama above, we can see that joy and woe are interwoven. It also shows why the myths of happiness are wrong. We may think we know whether a particular turning point should make us laugh or cry.
But the truth is that positive and negative events are often entwined. Which may turn into unexpected and unimaginable outcomes.
Pain and Joy are Mutually Exclusive from Each Other
Pain and Joy are Not Mutually Exclusive of Each Other. In fact, they are natural consequences of each other. While finding happiness, consider the best thing that has happened to you during past years and the worst event.
You may be surprised to learn that they are often the same. Perhaps your heart was broken, but then you discovered that being single made you find your identity and led you to meet a more ideal mate.
Or, you were laid off from a promising job. But the event prompted you to start a business which is now thriving beyond your wildest dream. Perhaps you were excited when you resumed that dream job. But now deem it one of the biggest mistakes of your life.
Sometimes, in finding happiness, a positive event takes place bringing happiness initially. Like getting married to the most eligible bachelor/spinster. Winning the lottery, getting that promotion at work, and having a child.
Pain and Joy Follow One Another
All the above-mentioned set into motion a crisis or deep disappointment. Because our less-than-joyful reactions to them disrupt our views of what should make us happy. And other times a misfortune such as losing a job, a dream or a life partner maybe lead to something wonderful.
Most often we were wrong to believe that such events would permanently damage us. In other words, we exaggerate the effect a life change will have on our happiness because we cannot see the result.
For instance, for many of us, images of a future marriage comprise romantic getaways for two. Sex as often as we want, love and romance 24/7, and an angelic chubby infant sleeping in our arms. With our spouse offering to make all the diaper changes.
Understanding Promotes Happiness
We don’t usually envision the stresses, ups and downs, dying passions, and disagreements. Misunderstandings and disappointments of long-term love are all things that fight against a happy marriage.
Although our problems and challenges may initially feel disappointing and painful. But they can be opportunities to change our lives or to achieve a clearer vision of our situation.
With new understanding, we will be better able to use these challenges to make major strides in finding happiness.
The message of the book Where Happiness Is, is that, while we undergo crisis points. We can identify the steps to take to forge our way to a fulfilling life and help ourselves reach our happiness potential.
The good news is that it doesn’t matter where you are. With this book, we will navigate the path to a happier life. You don’t have to have happy genes, win the lottery or go out of your way to do anything special.
Hopefully, by the time you arrive at the end of this journey, you will know where happiness is.
Get the book WHERE HAPPINESS IS on the following links.
